Power in Change

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What is Out of Pocket Emotions?

 

 


How It Works!

STEP 1 – Arrange for a complimentary phone interview. Individuals are free to ask questions of the Coach and it is a chance to get to know one another, see if it is a good fit as you find out more about  the benefits of personal life coaching. The Coach will answer any questions regarding fee structure, including savings available from hourly to monthly package; a sliding scale is also available, the point is to get started as soon as possible.

STEP 2 – On first assessment individuals will answer a short questionnaire this is to secure there are no medical concerns before agreeing to the Five-way Life Coaching Approach®  

STEP 3 – Work personally with the Coach to uncover your personal goals. The program is customized to explore immediate needs by defining life goals.

More information:

Call or Write Today!

Arrange a complimentary consultation:

Catherine DeAngelis
Individual and Group Life Coach Practitioner
416 246 0025
email: info@catherinedeangelis.com

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Belonging – The Search for Acceptance

by Catherine DeAngelis

“My vision is that belonging should be at the heart of a fundamental discovery: that we all belong to a common humanity, the human race. We may be rooted in a specific family and culture but we come to this earth to open up to others, to serve them and receive the gifts they bring to us, as well as to all of humanity.”     Jean Vanier, Becoming Human, p. 36.


Jean Vanier
 has been acclaimed as “a Canadian who inspires the world” (Maclean’s Magazine) and a “nation builder” (The Globe and Mail), he is the founder of the international movement of L’Arche communities, where people who have developmental disabilities and the friends who assist them create homes and share life together.


Winner of the 2015 Templeton Prize

 

The 2015 Templeton Prize was awarded in March to Jean Vanier and cited for “his innovative discovery of the central role of vulnerable people in the creation of a more just, inclusive and humane society. The Templeton Prize, which has previously been awarded to Mother Teresa, Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama and others, is one of the most prestigious honors in the world, and is valued at close to 1.7 million USD.”

The John Templeton Foundation serves as a philanthropic catalyst for discoveries relating to the Big Questions of human purpose and ultimate reality.

**The 2015 Templeton Prize Laureate, Jean Vanier, speaks on the Big Question: “What does it mean to be fully human?”

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Jean Vanier is a Canadian humanitarian, spiritual leader, and internationally esteemed pioneer in the field of care for people with intellectual disabilities. Born in 1928, he joined the Royal Navy at age 13 and left it at 21 to begin a spiritual quest and to study for his PhD. Appalled by conditions of institutions where people with intellectual disabilities lived, in 1964 he welcomed two men to share a home with him. Thus began what has become the worldwide movement of L’Arche. In 1971, he co-founded Faith and Light, an international support network for families.

**The Inspiration and Story of L’Arche

 

(At the time of filming, Love and Belonging, the reporting on people with disabilities used a common, but now an outdated word “Handicap.” A Way with Words and Images (pdf download) is a reminder to be respectful of terms when writing and speaking about people with disabilities or about issues that affect their lives). We need to be factual, objective and inclusive.

 

Jean Vanier took as his inspiration the biblical passage from the Beatitudes that declares that the poor are “blessed.”

 

L’Arche believes that every person is blessed with important gifts to offer to others and that we are called to create a society in which each one’s gifts can be given and recognized. L’Arche communities reflect the cultural and religious make-up of the locales where they were founded. Thus, while in France L’Arche drew largely from a Roman Catholic population, Canadian community have welcomed people of various Christian denominations and also sometimes people of Jewish, Muslim or other faiths as well as people with no faith affiliation.

More important than the need to be loved
is the need to belong.~

“Learn more about the L’Arche Foundation and its continued efforts to improve the lives of those with disabilities by visiting the
Love and Belonging website.

 

 A Way with Words and Images – Suggestions for the portrayal of people with disabilities includes a Download the PDF version (1.81 MB) of this content.

Article updated 08/12/19

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MoodGym Update

MoodGymNew MoodGYM
Coming Soon!

 

Learn a cognitive behaviour approach for preventing and coping with mood swings.

MoodGym training program developed in Australia, since its launch in 2004, has received several IT and health awards, and has over 200 000 registered users worldwide. The e-hub Mental Health team are creating a new version of MoodGYM – with a fresh, new look, and improved accessibility and usability.

MoodGYM is an interactive website based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy, which can be used for helping to develop good coping skills for the future or help you look at mood concerns.

What is CBT?

Emotions, Thoughts, Feelings & Actions

CBT

  • CBT is a psychotherapeutic approach (a talking therapy)
  • Helps individuals deal with emotions in a healthy way as well as address mental health concerns.
  • How we think about things determines a large degree on what we experience.
  • Errors happen in thinking.
  • Some automatic thoughts may be true, but many are not true, or have just a grain of truth.

E.g. Anger is linked to a perception of damage & hurt and to a belief that rules and expectations
have been violated.

MoodGYM consists of interactive modules which are delivered in a specific order. The modules are: feelings, thoughts, unwarping, de-stressing, and relationships. At the end of each module you can apply the material to your own circumstances through a series of activities.  

Enter a world of discovery in getting to know yourself.  Watch for MoodGym updates and go here if you wish to give it a try:  http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome.

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Copyright© 2015 Catangelis Communications – Unauthorized use and duplication of this material without written permission from site owner is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided full credit is given to owner or to any other copyright materials used by owner is also quoted with appropriate direction to original content.

Life Skills and Trauma Stressors

by Catherine DeAngelis

Health professionals may be baffled when survivors of trauma come to them after recovery, on reassessment, find out symptoms have recurred.

Human

Trauma is a serious assault on a human’s life functioning.

What happens to get in the way of a regular day-to-day activity like paying the bills or problem-solving to suddenly make it all seem like a monumental feat?

Could it be a day or two before, or after a holiday gathering that negative emotions or physical symptoms got triggered, and a survivor remembers a traumatic moment that surfaces without a warning?

Trauma happens to people who experienced a psychologically distressing and life-risking event.  A person having survived an accident, injuries, illness, physical, verbal, emotional or sexual abuse, or other crime; a person who is a war veteran, army officer, or settlement refugee who comes from war-torn or a violent country;  it can happen to a search and rescue worker; natural disaster survivor, or a bystander of a traumatic episode.

A survivor can relive moments of terror, feelings of culpability, remorse, rage, or disillusionment about life.

Reliving a traumatic event can arouse emotions that cause fatigue, low energy, weepiness or lack of concentration or impatience with others.  Outbursts of anger happen for no reason.  The memory of trauma comes by flashbacks and nightmares, and it can become so severe it’s difficult to lead a normal life.

Unbeknownst to a survivor of trauma, belief that healing has taken place and recovery is over and done with plays havoc on the mind. Thoughts, feelings and emotions are stirred-up. Without warning, symptoms return to cause grief. The ability to manage simple home or work tasks becomes daunting.

Joint pain or inability to sleep throughout the night can occur during a traumatic flashback. Agitation and self-inquiry like “who am I” and “will I ever feel normal? Or “am I going crazy?”

Disharmony grows in relationships and clouds of doom become a veil over the survivor.

The Canadian Mental Health Association reports this kind of impact can develop into acute anxiety or more commonly “post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”

PTSD is one of several conditions known as an anxiety disorder. It affects about 1 in 10 people, characterized by reliving a psychologically traumatic situation, long after any physical danger involved has passed.

Taking care to know and understand disruptive emotions that could arise after flashbacks are vital life skills tools.

Self-awareness and self-care is arsenal for a trauma-episodic memory.

Life can suddenly become crushing because an onset of images, conversations, smells, or sounds, serve to remind something happening now related to a traumatic event back then.

Psychology Today reports PTSD affects about 7.7 million American adults. It is often accompanied by depression, substance abuse, gambling, eating and anxiety disorders.

When other conditions are appropriately diagnosed and treated, the likelihood of successful treatment increases.

Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Cregan M.D. explains coping with traumatic stress is an ongoing process. He explains we’ll be of more help to our loved one (to ourselves) if we learn about the effects of trauma.

Life skills can help people draw from a broad range of problem-solving behaviours to meet the challenges at work, home or socially.   The extent to which an individual with trauma integrates survival behaviours in their lives after their trauma is in itself a measure of success and deserves much support.

In trauma recovery people learn during their healing it is important to accept feelings of denial, to keep active, seek support, face reality of the triggers, and to ground themselves after a flashback.

Trauma survivors need to take time to process feelings associated with the experience and know how to find quiet time to be alone or find someone in the family or among friends to share the experience. They need to know sharing the experience is accepted without judgment.

The key is to recognize trauma might surface at different times of the year.

Dr. Cregan describes the best way to approach trauma is by finding some ways of normalising it – thinking about not being overwhelmed or frightened by symptoms and difficulties (as opposed to catastophising thoughts like, ‘It’s happening again, I am back to square one’ and emphasising coping strategies like staying active, taking care of yourself, seeking social support).

Family members and friends care deeply, yet hold beliefs healing should be done with quickly. This can hinder a trauma survivor’s healing.  Advocating “life is too short” and “stop focusing on the past – get over it” prolongs the curing period.

healingHealing takes time and it is different for everyone.

Family physicians notably agree it is part of essential life skills for a survivor to understand and express feelings, deal with anger associated with trauma, and safeguard thought processes so as not to undermine the ability to cope day-to-day.

Awareness is essential.

Emotional wounds take time to heal, or some cases may never heal.

Emotions from a traumatic event can take years to show up and when they do, it’s a rude awakening. A realization surfaces to reexamine the memory and the pain associated with it. What can happen is a recall of more memory, adding to the original trauma. Once this happens, it deserves the processing time for the survivor to work through it, and get ready to come out at the other end stronger for it.

Trauma can cause ongoing problems with self-esteem. It affects management of simple life skills.  Overcoming trauma is easier for some than others. Some go on to inspire others who is just entering the dark stage of a life-changing journey.

The impact of trauma on the entire person and the range of therapeutic issues are what need to be addressed. Recovery happens when the person is ready to move past the pain of it.

Symptoms come back in bits and pieces, like a flashback in a movie trailer – it can subside.

Dr. Creagan believes we can help a loved one with post-traumatic stress by being willing to listen, but don’t push. Choose a time when you’re both ready to talk.

During the process of recovery from trauma, it can take months, years, even decades.  For some, PTSD never leaves.

Trauma assaults a person’s ability to manage simple life skills. Generally this is needed to help understand the world around or know the tools to allow a fulfilling life. Daily tasks, going to school or work, building relationships, or one’s personal feelings of belongingness or connectedness become visibly exhausting.

Trauma symptoms get in the way of meeting ambitions to live to one’s full potential.

Many treatments are available for PTSD to meet the unique needs of the survivor.

Everyone is different, so a treatment by someone experienced with PTSD may work for one person and may not work for another.

Life coaching is available to give supportive listening — without attempts to repair but help resolve some of the strong feelings such as shame, anger, or guilt.  A life coach can offer strategies to help map out a plan to get beyond PTSD and work at meeting life goals based on a new method of human functioning.

A life skills approach to trauma is about finding a new personal life balance. Breaking through another wall of understanding and self discovery during recovery of trauma, is about learning to live with a new agenda of coping skills. Taking time to find what works best during healing from the effects of trauma is worthy of investment.

Giving up is not an option,  but seeking self-love and understanding, or getting the help needed all bring added successes to an especially brave life of a survivor living with the stresses of a past trauma.

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About Getting Mindful!

by Catherine DeAngelis

Not listening or paying attention? Finding yourself ‘zoning out’ at work, with family, friends, or clients at meetings? Too busy thinking, planning, worrying?

Are you an artist from writer, musician to dancer or an exercise junkie to a helping professional? It doesn’t matter who you are, as long as you are devoted to being inspired either from helping others or looking after your personal growth and expression. Bringing mindfulness practices into your world offers endless possibilities.   

Bring Mindful Wellness into your Life!

Eight-weekS 90 minute classes starting up in the New Year

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Mental Fitness is as vital as Physical Fitness! – Being mindful, and various daily practices of gentle yoga, and meditation, have been clinically proven to benefit you emotionally, and make a significant affect on your physical health. Make a commitment to yourself, and confirm your participation in our sessions and learn more about emotional wellness!

Here is a 3-minute video that describes what mindfulness is, and how it can be used. Interest in mindfulness has grown steadily in recent years. Mindfulness is now being used in boardrooms, schools, prisons, courtrooms and hospitals across the world.


Learning to be Mindful …

Let us introduce you to the building tools to easily de-stress and bring mindfulness into your life. We guide you step-by-step with instructions on how to bring emotional wellness into your life as you attain a healthy mind and body.  Contact us by calling 416 246 0025 or info@catherinedeangelis.com

Catherine DeAngelis is the program coach and facilitator. She knows the full benefits of Jon Kabat Zinn’s Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness Cognitive Behavior Therapy approach. She applies similar teachings from renowned Thich Nhat Hanh and his mindfulness trainings. This program is based on her own personal lived experience, her work as life skills educator, mental health advocate, and poet and journalist. Catherine shows how mindfulness practice can improve mind, body and overall health. Read more information

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We offer a complimentary session or consultation
 call Catherine DeAngelis
Individual and Group Life Coach Practitioner
416 246-0025
 
Copyright © 2014 Catangelis Communications sponsor of Out of Pocket Emotions Programs

Mindful Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis

MindfulWomanHushWe see our world through our emotions. Emotions are a natural part of our being human. They are a portal to the outside world that keep us vibrant and allow us to answer to our senses like touch, sight, sound, smell and taste. Being mindful of our emotions connects us to the power to transform, renew or grow richly in our connection to live better in mind, heart and body. True awareness of our emotions in the present moment keeps us in check in how we manage or respond to our feelings, thoughts and moods.

One-hundred years ago Charles Darwin, renowned for his theory of evolution, brought us also “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.” Darwin informed us that emotions are common to all of us (no delineation formed, be it man,woman or specie). He described emotions come in basic form such as happiness, sadness, surprise or disgust.  We can argue Darwin’s descriptors are too few to define the kinds of emotion coming from what we know to be a brief, acute change in our conscious experience and physiology that occurs in response to a personally meaningful situation.

Nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, Thích Nhất Hạnh, a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, spiritual teacher, author, and poet has written more than 40 books on peace and the practice of living in the present moment for a more mindful living!  He offers simple techniques from the Buddhist tradition that anyone can use to set in motion present moment awareness.

In his book, The Sun My Heart, he states “peace can exist only in the present moment. It is ridiculous to say “Wait until I finish this, then I will be free to live in peace.” What is “this”? A diploma, a job, a house, the payment of a debt? If you think that way, peace will never come.  There is always another “this” that will follow the present one. If you are not living in peace at this moment, you will never be able to. If you truly want to be at peace, you must be at peace right now. Otherwise, there is only “the hope of peace some day.”

Highly respected Western theories have evolved and mindful living has become a dynamic approach specifically used to heal emotional to physical pain.  Individuals can learn to pay attention intentionally to what is occurring in immediate experience in a non-judgmental, caring and discerning way.

Mindfulness based-stress reduction and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy are techniques developed to bring emotions into awareness and to be better able to manage and control them.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. is a scientist, writer, and meditation teacher who brought the concept of mindfulness to the mainstream of medicine and societies. He believes Buddhist meditative practices, can liberate you, to a very large extent, from the experience of pain. Whether or not you can reduce the level of sensory pain, the affective and cognitive contributions to the pain— which make it much worse—usually can be lessened. And then, very often, the sensory component of the pain changes as well.

Standing side-by-side with Kabat-Zinn’s techniques are other distinguished doctors from Tara Brach, John D. Teesdale to Zindel Segal and many  more. The goal is to help change our relationship to pain and open ourselves up to it by paying attention to it. Mindfulness brings those who struggle with depression and difficult emotions a chance to reach for more happiness.

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy practice helps thousands manage depression, stress, anger and addictions to chronic illnesses, including:

  • to become familiar with the workings of your mind
  • to explore ways of releasing yourself from those old habits and, if you choose, enter a different way of being
  • to put you in touch with a different way of knowing yourself and the world
  • to notice small beauties and pleasures in the world around you instead of living in your head
  • to be kind to yourself instead of wishing things were different all the time, or driving yourself to meet impossible goals
  • to find a way so you don’t have to battle with yourself all the time
  • to accept yourself as you are, rather than judging yourself

There are a variety of theories that offer how best to manage and respond to emotions. We’ve come so far as including emotions in the twelve-step program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. Emotions Anonymous is composed of people who come together in weekly meetings for the purpose of working toward recovery from emotional difficulties. The only requirement for membership is a desire to become emotionally healthy.

As we continue with more research around mind, body, emotional health, we are learning more about the connection between good mental health and good physical health. Psychological studies show that your mind and your body are strongly linked. As your mental health declines, your physical health can wear down, and if your physical health declines, it can make you feel mentally “down.” Having a positive outlook can help keep you healthy, but having the right tools at hand can greatly increase our chances for a richer emotional life.

Being mindful of emotions and letting go of emotional pain is less easy on some than others in our workplace, family and societal cultures. We are desperately seeking to bridge the gap and create more possibilities for optimum emotional and mental well-being that go beyond living hopefully and living consistently with more happiness rather than none.

An insightful opening line comes from the prose poem “The Desiderata,” written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann: Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence… 

“HUMAN”
Sung by Christina Perri


Lyrics by Johnson, Martin / Perri, Christina
Published by: Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that’s what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that’s what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human, yeah

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that’s what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I’ll get through it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human, yeah

I’m only human
I’m only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
Until I’ve had enough

‘Cause I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human, yeah

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We offer a complimentary session or consultation
 call Catherine DeAngelis
Individual and Group Life Coach Practitioner
416 246-0025
 

Nature’s Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelisby Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

“But you see, life is not like that at all; life is not permanent.

Like the leaves that fall from a tree, all things are impermanent,
nothing endures; there is always change and death. 

Have you ever noticed a tree standing naked against the sky, how beautiful it is?

All its branches are outlined, and in its nakedness there is a poem, there is a song.

Every leaf is gone and it is waiting for the spring.

When the spring comes, it again fills the tree with the music of many leaves,

which in due season fall and are blown away.

And this is the way of life.”

– The Krishnamurti Reader – Part II to Youth (p.143)

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions

by Catherine DeAngelis Out of Pocket Emotions
Photos of trees taken in moments of stillness and captured by Catherine DeAngelis poetically described as Nature’s Emotions at work while on local walks throughout the year in Toronto, Ontario, Canada — inspired to share Krishnamurti’s reflections to learn more about the benefits of meditative moments and the importance of standing still.

For a complimentary read by Jiddu_Krishnamurti-Notebook

Learn more about who is Krishnamurti:
 http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/index.php

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Being ‘In Balance’

by Catherine DeAngelis

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What is it about our need to be in balance – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and are we listening?

From family doctors to our employers, though rare, may encourage us to occasionally stop, take a deep breath-in and deep breath-out, see what is around us, and go ahead through our day with as much empathy and compassion for our fellow workers, family or friends.

Scientists have proven we are in a constant state of “doing,” rather than “being.” This might hold different meanings for different people, but generally, it means to feel like all of our mental, and physical elements of our body are out of alignment, and need to be brought back into alignment. It sounds like a task for Chiropractor who can diagnose, treat and prevent health problems through the proper alignment of the spinal column. Maybe! Or perhaps, when we become aware that it is time to do a mindful check-in, because we feel out of alignment, then it is at this state that we learn to take seriously what is happening to make us “feel off.”

A body, mind connection is to understand the purpose of how we respond, emotionally, physically and spiritually to daily living. At home, at work, while being active or during our activities with family, friends and community. How do we get to the place of knowing ourselves better? This place is to know enough about who we are, and ignite an inner centeredness, to bring balanced-wellness to our being, while we are in the midst of our constantly “doing.”

Centeredness

Mark Nepo is a poet, philosopher and a cancer survivor, author of The Book Of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present in the Life You Have. This bestseller earned the praise of a ‘Spiritual First Aid Kit’- it provides a perpetual year’s supply of inspirational essays.

In a television interview, Nepo explained the meaning for ‘being centered.’ He said that “it is very hard for many of us to get there and stay there, by being centered, is how do we stay authentic and ever aware how precious it is just to be alive. Being human we drift in and out of that – it is just normal and so how does love and suffering help us come back to that or experience this.”

Nepo’s book came as a result of his experience with cancer which moved him to try to give something back and to put it together as small doses of things that matter. For readers, he says they can go through it as a journey through the year or can open it up anywhere and have enough to get through the day. A reader may find it as a place to find connectedness in all things as Nepo explains “trying to find and welcome where all the spiritual paths meet in the middle, not how we are different, but how we are the same. It’s about how to listen with our hearts, and really take each other in, we are really not that different, and we need each other to be whole to get through the day.”

The property of  mindfulness or prayer belongs to no particular religion or group of people and neither does the practice of daily praying or meditating belong  to only Buddhists. Anyone can sit mindfully under a tree, or kneel on a bench to find a moment to pray for e.g. empathy of others or compassion for ourselves.

More and more scientists are discovering,  there are benefits in the practice of contemplative prayer, silence, or use of mindfulness to create a  state of being and not doing to help manage stress and combat minor to severe illnesses.  Practice is open to all  faiths. It is astounding the rewards people report how prayer and meditation bring balance to  mental health and well-being.

For resilience, recite a prayer, chant a veda or a mantra,  say a blessing, and accompany it by  lighting a candle or some incense,  hold prayer beads to set in motion a formal or informal setting toward a  quiet time for contemplation and thoughtful prayer, or walk a path and be guided by the simple wonders of  our world and the grandness of its intelligent design.

Open yourself up to intuition, to the natural release of energy – both positive and negative – and to self-awareness.

mountain_pose1PRACTICE DAILY

  1. Check in mindfully each day, the moment your feet hit the floor next to your bed – it is as vital as the air you breathe.
  2. Simply take a few seconds by taking yourself to a calming yet brisk awareness of the ‘here and now.’
  3. Begin this mindful check in, by feeling into the body and mind, simply allowing waves of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations to just be.
  4. Breathe, Inhale, Exhale — No need to judge.
  5. Just let it be.
  6. Breathe, Inhale, Exhale.
  7. Breathe!
  8. Formal breathing practice can be done anywhere anytime.
  9. Listen to all that is around you!

Enjoy one of the traditional core practices of Mindfulness meditation and be thankful to yourself for having taken the time to participate in your health and well-being.

“To See with Love

Enlightenment is intimacy with all things Jack Kornfield

“Each of us spins repeatedly from blindness to radiance, from dividedness to wholeness, and it is our impulse to stay in touch with all that is alive that keeps us from staying lost. It is the impulse to be intimate.

It brings to mind the young, blind French boy, Jacques Lusseyran, who, in learning how to navigate his way among other forms of life in his darkness, stumbled onto the secret of undivided living.

Young Lusseyran said, “It is more than seeing them, it is tuning in on them and allowing the current they hold to connect with one’s own, like electricity. To put it differently, this means an end of living in front of things and a beginning of living with them. Never mind if the word sounds shocking, for this is love.

To live with things and not in front of them, to no longer watch, but to realize that we are part of everything we see – this is the love that keeps moving us back into wholeness when divided. To love by admitting our connection to everything is how we stay well. Allowing the current of another’s inwardness to connect with our own is the beginning of both intimacy and enlightenment.”

  • Close our eyes and be still until you can sense the presence of the things about you.
  • Breathe softly and feel the current of their silence.
  • Breathe evenly and open your heart to all that you sense.
  • Feel the electricity of being that informs the world.”

 Read more about the benefits of Meditative-prayer

Copyright © 2013 Catangelis Communications sponsor of Out of Pocket Emotions – Unauthorized use and duplication of this material without written permission from site owner is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided full credit is given to owner or to any other copyright materials used by owner is also quoted with appropriate direction to original content.

Good to Win and Lose…

by Catherine DeAngelis

“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot;  together we can do great things.”
“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”   Mother Teresa

Game

Life engineers us with a fallacy that we are either a winner or a loser. Some of us then, may or may not subscribe to Mother Teresa’s words. There are many realities associated with a win or lose mentality.

We can set out to do great things, or we just don’t, and simply allow others to do the great things.

There is a bombardment today upon us to win – choose your medium. We place pressures on ourselves to compete, be better, attain more things, and tell ourselves it is enough, or it is not enough, I want more – I want it all!

Winatlife2

Hockey games, Olympics or television shows like the Amazing Race and America’s Got Talent, keep us charged and on the edge of our seats. We pass and fail exams, and strive to be on the honour roll.  We cheer others on because – we want someone to “win.”

Emotions in Handling Win or Loss

Emotions are at the hallmark of a sports winner’s or a sports loser’s mind and play an integral role in whether they can handle winning or losing at the game.  It parallels  what every human being, from the developmental phase of early childhood to adulthood, has engaged in emotionally for the sake of winning at something or another.

Dr. Alan Goldberg (Dr. G) is an expert and author of several books in the field of applied sport psychology. He works with athletes and teams across all sports at every level. He is noted as helping athletes overcome fears and blocks to getting unstuck and back on track.

In Dr. G’s newsletter Handling Winning and Losing, it states in every athletic contest there is always a winner and a loser, a winning squad or a losing one.  “The athletic winner experiences emotions that vary in degrees of intensity such as ecstatic, satisfied, confident, vindicated, superior, haughty, happy, relaxed, like he’s “Da man,” humble, empathy for the loser or any number of other feelings, even including sad and let down.”

“The athletic loser experiences emotions from distraught, depressed, angry, resentful, sad, anxious, like a failure, frustrated, inadequate, cheated, or sometimes, even satisfied and successful.”

Dr G says explains that “when we allow these strong emotions to sail our ship, we will almost always end up in deep doo-doo, smashed and broken on the rocks.”

Are all humans meant to be winners, who are supposed to have it, that dream that is so unattainable?  We live in a dynamic western society, where our customs and cultural context create an even more complexity around the matter.

How we define whether we win or lose, is a personal matter and sometimes it is not. But a win can give it all to someone, and it offers an experience we are winners too. To face the loss is a matter of having our heads screwed on tight, ensuring we know ourselves well enough, that it doesn’t make it bad that we didn’t have the wherewithal to meet the challenge of gaining whatever it was we were seeking to achieve.

Animals vs. Humans

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What happens when we take a walk over to the animal kingdom?  In Win, Lose or Quit? Your animal brain would rather quit than lose. Don’t cave! an article by Loretta Graziano Breuning, Ph.D. author of  Your Neurochemical Self, says “that your higher brain says “it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.” Your animal brain says “avoid losing no matter what.”

Dr. Breuning admits that she was a quitter when she was young, so she was fascinated to learn how animals resolve their differences. Each animal mentally compares itself to the other guy. If it thinks it can win, it goes for it. If it thinks it might lose, it backs off. Losing can be deadly in the animal world, where there are no doctors to patch up your wounds. Discretion is the better part of valor.

Avoid Losing No Matter What?

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Beliefs to win or to lose at life can start false from childhood on up.  We get stuck at “avoid losing no matter what.” That loser or winner mentality can come to us from parents, caregivers, siblings, and teachers, even from the classroom bully. And many of us work from our registered records with that inner developed compilation of what winning and losing means to us. We carry over thinking as something as simple as once being told “you loser” or “you are going to be a doctor” that dictates our modus operandi throughout life.

The best part of getting as good as it gets to meeting a winning life point on:

  1. Know thyself, make self-awareness a priority
  2. Understand emotions/self-regulate (stop the blame-game)
  3. Set goals and objectives
  4. Define them
  5. Know the obstacles
  6. Explore how to overcome blocks
  7. Outline benefits and ask questions – knowledge is power!
  8. Make a step-by-step roadmap on how to get there
  9. Keep a journal of feelings during the process
  10. Strategize often and repeat all of the above regularly.

Good to Win or Good to Lose

Depending on our experiences, how we self-regulate our thoughts, emotions and feelings, positive or negative are what equates to our being “good to win” or “good to lose.”

Mastery of life is around what we experienced and what we repeated to ourselves in our mind over and over to believe what is important in life. For most, we are able to choose one or the other, and for others, it may not be so easy!

WinLose

Whether we face the reality or not, there is time to be consciously awake without worrying about what is at stake. We can find health and joy in living day-to-day and see “oneness” everywhere.  It is perfectly okay to forgo running to catch up with the other guy to stay in the race, or to be that guy who wins, hands up at the finish line. Even better, it can be splendor to linger by the roadside, taking a deep breath and revelling in the rush knowing that we almost got there.

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